YouNow Know My Secrets
by writersandthemachine
Summary: Dan is in the middle of a liveshow when he gets in an argument with Phil. It is the worst fight he's ever had with Phil, but little does he know he forgot to end the liveshow. Now thousands of people have witnessed the argument, and Dan finds his life being flipped upside down. Phan angst, may have fluff but will potentially discuss depression and suicidal thoughts.


**A/N- This is before Dan and Phil moved, and it takes place at the start of 2017**

"Onion candle!" I shouted into my crappy macbook webcam. It was the only thing I could think to say, and because my laptop was always crappy and slow, I figured it would be cut off from the liveshow.

"Welcome to the liveshow!" I chirped. "Me and Phil- Phil and I for god's sakes- just got back from VidCon! It was very exciting and we had a great time." I then started rambling about his trip and awkward moments, as usual.

I was in the middle of making a profound statement about onion candles when I heard an outraged cry from the lounge. This worried me a bit, because I hardly ever hear Phil get that annoyed. Yes this house was terribly annoying with all its little problems, but mostly it doesn't matter.

 _Get your head out of your ass, Daniel,_ I said to myself. _He's not mad about the house and you know it. Just talk about it after the liveshow._

I turned back to the liveshow to keep talking about the new Dandle, when yet another furious call came from downstairs. I couldn't keep my curiosity at bay. Did he know? He couldn't possibly. I couldn't bear the sinking feeling that Phil had found out, so I decided to call back at him.

"Phil?" I called. No response. I called once more, and this time he answered.

"Daniel James Howell, get your arse down stairs now." He used a cold and quiet, yet demanding voice.

"I'm in the middle of a liveshow!" I hollered back at him, hoping to delay this fight.

"I don't care, end it, I'm coming up!" He retorted.

I quickly pressed the end liveshow button before he came in. It would be disastrous if the fans heard the fight.

We stood on opposite sides of my bed. An icy tension filled the air.

"What the hell Dan? Did you think I wouldn't find out?" I couldn't bear to hear the hurt in his voice. It was my fault, it really was. I hate knowing and living with the fact that I hurt Phil.

"Phil, you know I love you and I didn't mean to hurt you and I never meant for that to escalate into anything more than a friendship." I said softly, full of regret. I was so ashamed.

"You love me! Really, because from the way you've been acting, I feel like you've never loved me! All I want is for us to be happy, but I can't be when you go around doing stuff behind my back!"

He slowly blinked, and I could tell he was holding back tears. "You cheated on me! After everything we've done. We created an empire together! I supported you whenever you didn't feel worth anything, but I always stuck by your side. And now you've made me feel like I'm not worth it." His voice broke

That last remark shattered my heart. "Off course you're worth it Phil. You're a better person that I could ever be! I wanted to feel loved, and there he was, and it all just happened so fast. You have to believe me I regret it more than anything else." Tears started biting at my eyes as well.

"How do I not make you feel loved? I love you more than anything on this world, I tell you that everyday! I've only ever needed you. We could run away and start a new like in Africa or someplace no one knew us. I would fall of the grid give up everything if it meant you and I would be happy. I always thought that wouldn't be necessary because I thought we we're happy here, but again, I'm wrong." Phil started to sob.

He was angrily moving his fingers, I could tell he wanted to throw something. I knew nothing I could say would make it better. I had a perfect life with a perfect man, and I threw it all away. All I could do was sit in silence and bask in shame and regret.

"We were getting married in 3 months, Dan." I flinched at the word 'were'.

"Phil, I love you. You are the best thing in my life. Without you, I have nothing! No feels worse about this than I do, and if there is anything at all I could do-" Phil interrupted me.

"There was something you could do," Phil said bitterly, tears streaming down his face. "Not sleep with another man." The air was thick as syrup as I watched phil reach for the diamond ring on his hand. With a tight pull the ring came off. Time seemed to slow as he took that ring, and chucked it at my head.

"Don't call me," He muttered, before walking out the door. The second I heard the apartment door slam, I broke down into tears. How could I be so stupid, so selfish? Nothing could make this day worse. Actually, one thing could.

I suddenly noticed a blur of comments race on the YouNow website. With absolute horror, I realized that the liveshow never ended. I just had the worst half-hour off my entire life. It was just my luck to have the entire internet see my mistakes too.

I slammed the laptop shut and darted toward the door. I walked out into the crisp London air, knowing my entire world had just been flipped upside down.


End file.
